The Law Office of Julia M. Pendleton Greensboro Family Law Attorney | The Law Office of Julia M. Pendleton 2026-04-22T12:58:27Z https://www.triadfamilylaw.com/feed/atom/ WordPress /wp-content/uploads/sites/1302516/2021/02/cropped-jp-512x512-1-32x32.jpg On Behalf of The Law Office of Julia M. Pendleton <![CDATA[Strategies for helping kids adjust to divorce in North Carolina]]> https://www.triadfamilylaw.com/?p=47365 2022-11-12T04:47:34Z 2022-11-12T04:47:34Z Be there for your child emotionally Let your children know it's okay to express their feelings and talk about what they're going through. Listen to them attentively and without judgment. Reassure them that both you and their other parent still love them very much, despite the divorce.

Make sure they understand what's happening

Explain the situation to them in an age-appropriate way. Be honest, but avoid going into too much detail about the reasons for the divorce or any negative feelings you have towards their other parent.

Help them stay connected to their other parent

If possible, try to schedule visits and phone calls when your child is likely in good spirits to connect with the other parent. And avoid talking negatively about your child's other parent in front of them. This negativity will make it harder for them to cope, but you could also face legal consequences if your ex-partner decides to take you to court. Having a child-centered divorce can help minimize the negative impact that divorce can have on them. This technique means making decisions with your child's best interests in mind rather than focusing solely on what you want. In addition, you may need to consider out-of-court divorce so that you and your soon-to-be ex can have more control or say over the decisions about your child.]]> On Behalf of The Law Office of Julia M. Pendleton <![CDATA[Custody and Thanksgiving arrangements]]> https://www.triadfamilylaw.com/?p=47361 2022-10-31T22:51:18Z 2022-10-28T22:50:07Z Alternating Thanksgiving arrangements each year Some parents prefer to alternate which year they spend Thanksgiving with their children. For example, you can arrange to see your child on Thanksgiving 2022. However, next year, the child's other parent gets to bring them along for Thanksgiving festivities.

Splitting the entire Thanksgiving weekend

Since Thanksgiving is always on a Thursday, most schools and workplaces extend this holiday into the following weekend. Considering that, a popular parenting arrangement is to divide Thanksgiving weekend in half. This means one parent spends the first half of Thanksgiving weekend with their child. Then, the child and their other parent spend the second of this weekend together.

Giving a parent Thanksgiving and the other parent gets the following weekend

Another potential way to divide a Thanksgiving schedule is to give one parent Thanksgiving with their child. The other parent spends the rest of Thanksgiving weekend with their child after Thanksgiving ends. This arrangement is a popular option for parents who don't want to wait a full year before seeing their children around Thanksgiving. Life after a divorce can come with a lot of changes, especially as the holiday season approaches. But divorced couples must make the most out of future holidays for the sake of their children. Arguing with your ex-spouse about Thanksgiving plans only creates a stressful situation for you, your former partner and the children you both share.]]> On Behalf of The Law Office of Julia M. Pendleton <![CDATA[How does separation work in North Carolina?]]> https://www.triadfamilylaw.com/?p=47359 2022-10-13T20:57:10Z 2022-10-13T20:57:10Z Understanding separation in North Carolina Separation might seem self-explanatory, but it’s easy to become confused if you don’t know how it works. When you and your spouse choose to separate, it means that one of you has left the marriage and plans to end it. This often means one of you moves out of the marital home and into your own residence. You don’t have to file any formal paperwork or even have to reach an agreement with your spouse to separate. Sometimes, there’s confusion about what legal separation in North Carolina entails. You can’t still be in the home, sleeping in a separate room from your spouse. One spouse must have moved out of the home in order for you to be considered legally separated. If your goal is to get a divorce, your separation must last at least one consecutive year. After that time has passed, you can file for divorce.

Why you might want a separation agreement

Although a separation agreement is not necessary to legally separate from your spouse, there is good reason to have one. If you and your spouse are able to come to an agreement on property division, how to handle your bills and debts, who stays in the marital home and who has custody of the children, the court can enforce it. A separation agreement could be a lifesaver for both of you and can serve as part of your eventual divorce agreement. If you plan to present a separation agreement in court, it must be formally done in writing, signed by you and your spouse and notarized.]]> On Behalf of The Law Office of Julia M. Pendleton <![CDATA[What are the components of a good co-parenting plan?]]> https://www.triadfamilylaw.com/?p=47356 2022-09-29T20:56:07Z 2022-09-29T20:56:07Z Putting your child’s best interests first Child custody is always determined with your child’s best interests as the main focus. With your co-parenting plan, you should consider the same thing. You and your former spouse should consider what’s best for your child emotionally and physically when deciding on who has custody and when.

Considering the expenses

You should consider the expenses necessary for everything your child needs as part of your parenting plan. You might be responsible for paying for everyday necessities like food and clothing while your former spouse pays for your child’s education and extracurricular activities.

Open lines of communication

Good, open lines of communication are crucial for any good co-parenting plan. You and your former spouse may no longer be a couple, but you should still be a team when you have a child together. Determine how you’ll keep in communication and how often to communicate. Regularly discuss matters related to your child to make things better for them.

Be flexible

Flexibility matters when you share custody of your child. Things can come up that are unforeseen or spontaneous. You may need to readjust your parenting schedule for any number of reasons. Being flexible to that can benefit your child.

Set boundaries

Successful co-parenting plans include boundaries. For example, if your former spouse is OK with letting your child stay up late, you might want to discuss that with them and stress a normal bedtime. You can also compromise a little by meeting them in the middle. A good co-parenting plan can benefit your child and strengthen bonds.]]> On Behalf of The Law Office of Julia M. Pendleton <![CDATA[What are the pros and cons of shared physical custody?]]> https://www.triadfamilylaw.com/?p=47353 2022-09-29T17:10:14Z 2022-09-15T17:09:49Z Physical custody differs from legal custody In every state, two types of custody exist: legal and physical. Legal custody provides parents with the ability to make decisions for children's medical, religious, and school issues. Physical custody refers to the place where the child will live. It is common for parents to share legal custody, with only one parent retaining physical custody. It is also possible to share both legal and physical custody.

The benefits of shared physical custody

Physical custody agreements after a divorce allow for these benefits: • Children are reassured that both parents love them. • Children can talk to both parents regularly. • Parents share the emotional and physical stress of raising children. • Both parents are able to be a part of the child's daily experiences.

Shared physical custody can create disadvantages, however

Shared physical custody does not always result in benefits for the parents or the child. Disadvantages of shared physical custody include: • Constantly moving from one house to another can make the child feel unstable. • Power struggles between unhappy parents affect the child's mental health. • Parents may unwillingly make their child feel like a referee. • Important documents such as school papers may get lost in the constant back-and-forth between houses. • Planning schedules can be traumatic for parents who are unable to get along.

Other arrangements may work better

In most cases, having both parents in the child's life is beneficial. However, parents and the courts do not have to agree on shared physical custody in order to provide a stable, healthy environment that benefits the child and the parents.]]> On Behalf of The Law Office of Julia M. Pendleton <![CDATA[Should you consider a 50-50 custody split?]]> https://www.triadfamilylaw.com/?p=47349 2023-05-04T10:07:19Z 2022-09-01T02:14:47Z The benefits of a 50-50 parenting time split Child custody decisions are made in the best interest of the child. However, the division of parenting time should also work for all the members of the family. Courts often encourage a 50-50 shared parenting time division due to the many benefits it provides the family. These benefits include: • Shared parenting responsibility for raising the child • Continued bond between the child and each of their parents • Free time for each parent to develop their own social lives and hobbies • Increased resources to meet the child’s needs • Higher living standard for the child as they spend time in both households

Concerns about a 50-50 parenting split

However, this type of arrangement might not be for all families. If the parents live too far away from each other, or one parent lives too far away from their child’s school district, it might be difficult to set up a 50-50 division of their parenting time. Similarly, if the parents have a young child, who needs the stability that a primary home and caretaker can provide, the constant changes between homes might not be ideal. In the end, each family will need to consider their own situation to decide what kind of arrangement will work for them. Splitting custody can be beneficial both to the children as they continue to develop their bond with each parent, and to the parents, as it allows them to continue to grow as individuals.]]> On Behalf of The Law Office of Julia M. Pendleton <![CDATA[The role of a CDFA in divorce]]> https://www.triadfamilylaw.com/?p=47347 2022-08-18T00:18:44Z 2022-08-18T00:18:44Z Requirements to be a CDFA A CDFA must either have a bachelor's degree and three years of work experience or five years of work experience if the CDFA does not hold the degree. The Institute for Divorce Financial Analysts creates an exam that CDFAs must pass. In addition, a CDFA must have 30 hours of continuing education every two years.

What a CDFA can do

A CDFA is not a replacement for attorneys in a divorce. Instead, the CDFA can work alongside couples and their attorneys, advising on such issues as property value, post-divorce budgets and tax implications of various types of settlements. CDFAs can assume different roles in the divorce depending on who they are working for and the specifics of the situation. For example, in some cases, they may advocate for a client when the other spouse is attempting to hide assets. In other cases, they might work in a more neutral capacity to ensure that both parties get a settlement that works for them. While the legal system's aim is to create an equitable property split, a CDFA brings specialized knowledge to help ensure that is the case. A CDFA may be particularly helpful in divorces with many or complex assets or when one spouse has not dealt much family finances and does not have a strong sense of what the couple owns or how to budget.]]> On Behalf of The Law Office of Julia M. Pendleton <![CDATA[Reaching financial independence after a divorce]]> https://www.triadfamilylaw.com/?p=47344 2022-08-03T20:14:33Z 2022-08-03T20:14:33Z Finances and divorce When a couple is married, their combined finances mean that they can split a lot of expenses while both bringing in an income. For example, they will have shared housing costs. After divorce, they each need to pay the full cost of their own housing without the benefit of a second person's income. This is an important time to take stock of the new financial picture and evaluate all income and expenses in light of the post-divorce environment. Often, it is not as overwhelming as it initially seems, but it does require detailed awareness of all important flows and stocks of money.

Financial priorities

Take care of the basics and necessities first, and then, think about more abstract financial matters. For example, after divorce, each person needs to contribute to their own retirement savings and cover their own health insurance. This might require a reassessment of spending habits or a search for a higher-paying job. The division of child custody and child care expenses will also be important for budgeting if there were children prior to the divorce young enough to still need parental care. Divorce can have an impact on finances and change the way that people set up their budgets. However, it does not mean that there needs to be a major decline in lifestyle, and some people wind up better off after a divorce and a rebalancing.]]> On Behalf of The Law Office of Julia M. Pendleton <![CDATA[Grandparents can only be granted visitation through a custody order]]> https://www.triadfamilylaw.com/?p=47303 2022-07-21T06:44:01Z 2022-07-20T06:43:23Z Filing an order for custody In order for grandparents to file a custody order in a family law court, they must submit written evidence of the reasons they want to obtain custody. If the birth or adoptive parents are filing a custody order, the courts will not automatically assume that one parent is more fit to raise the child than the other. The courts will consider joint custody no matter which parent requests it. North Carolina does not necessarily recognize grandparents' rights, but the courts will allow grandparents to file a custody order depending on the family's situation.

Reasons grandparents may file for custody

Grandparents may petition the courts for custody of their grandchildren if one or both of the parents are mentally unstable. This instability could be due to drug abuse, alcoholism, or a mental illness. If the parents are unable to care for the child financially due to chronic health issues, grandparents may be able to request custody. North Carolina courts will also consider grandparent custody if one or more parents has a job that requires extensive travel, such as being in the military. In these cases, the parents may have primary custody when the parent is deployed in another state or country.]]> On Behalf of The Law Office of Julia M. Pendleton <![CDATA[What factors affect equitable distribution in a divorce?]]> https://www.triadfamilylaw.com/?p=47250 2022-07-06T22:13:53Z 2022-07-06T22:13:53Z What property is divided during a divorce? When a married couple divorces, the court will consider which property is considered marital so that it can be divided. Anything that was acquired by one or both spouses during the marriage is subject to property division. Meanwhile, any property one party acquired before the marriage is considered separate unless it was commingled or put into both spouses’ names. Because North Carolina is an equitable distribution state, marital property is split between spouses on the basis of what a judge deems to be fair.

What factors can affect equitable distribution in a divorce?

Equitable distribution is affected by certain factors. The court will consider these aspects when deciding how marital property should be divided. One of the most common is the length of the marriage. The court will also consider the incomes and earning potential of each person and whether there are any minor children. If there are minor children in the marriage, how many there are is also a factor. The costs of the kids’ education and health care are often taken into account with property division. Each person’s assets and debts also affect the way the marital property is divided during divorce. If one spouse supported the other so that they could reach educational and professional goals, the court will also consider that factor. This doesn’t necessarily mean the person financially supported their spouse as the court takes into consideration sacrifices made such as staying home to support the children. Finally, the mental and physical health of each spouse can also impact the equitable distribution of marital property.]]>